Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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