gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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