on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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