there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
