in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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