Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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