Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
