But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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