tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
are you so shy because you have an std?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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