This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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