Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
