Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
