Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
