Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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