I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
