This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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