It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
