Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize