I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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