I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
