I think i sorta joined a cult last night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
