the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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