ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
