When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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