even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
