so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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