there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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