Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
