i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
