Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
