I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You were trust falling into bushes
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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