Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My vagina is officially offended.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
