Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
