How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
