super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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