Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
