New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
