My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
