You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she peed on how many people?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
