I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I need to sanitize my soul.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
