never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
