that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
