so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
