sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
