Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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