i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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