Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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