Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
