thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize