My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
