I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
