last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
