im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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